I'm thinking, maybe one day you'll be surfing the internet and find your daddy's blog from 10 years ago. Well if you do, know that you changed my life 3 years ago and I love you.
When you were first born I didn't really know what to think about it all. It's a very overwhelming experience. I was scared cause you were so tiny. I believe that's when I started growing old in my mind. I thought, Damn! What am I gonna do now? Actually, I really thought Damn! What have I done up till now? I've been goofing off. I gotta make this boy some college money. Well after 3 years I ain't any closer to that. Ha! I'm working on it though. I never really felt anxiety until you came along. You're probably thinking I had it made till you, but that's not the case at all. I waited on you for 32 years. When I was a kid, I often thought what my son would be like. I always knew I would have a son. Seeing you at your 3rd birthday party was a eye opener to me. You're turning into exactly what I've hooped for. Funny, Smart, Shy, Loving, and Stubborn..ha ha!
I never thought I could quit smoking. I loved it. One night I thought I was having a heart attack and we went to the ER and you were crying for me, but they were hooking me up to monitors so I couldn't hold you. I looked you right in the eye and told you I would never smoke another one and I haven't and never will again. No one has that kind of power over me, but you. Don't you ever abuse that power boy! Cause I will tan that hide..lol Don't ever smoke. Not cause it's wrong, but because it's so damn hard to quit. Even your Maw-Maw and Paw-Paw have quit for you and your cousins. I never thought I'd see that. Don't ever let your mama tell you that she never smoked...haha She had her moments of wildness. She's smoked since I have. She don't have that addictive personality like me though. Maybe you'll be like her. Last time, Don't smoke!! Also don't ever be ashamed to tell someone you love them. You tell 'em!
I hope this finds you well and I love you so much.
I'm tired so I'm gonna crash. Maybe I'll get you and take you to bed with me. I think I will. Love you!
Daddy 12/13/2010
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